Par 4 The Course

F-ck Usain Bolt!

“You try fuck on me?!” … Direct result of Joe Biden’s attempts on improving relations between the US and China.

“We’re talking about practice. We’re talking about practice. We’re not talking about the game. We’re talking about practice.”

#11-20 courtesy of RJ Endozo. I’ve actually had these since last September. Finally getting all up into it now.

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11. Twilight Saga. I’m a fan of True Blood and even though there’s tons of gay vampires on that show, Twilight is about 100x gayer.

12. Fliggers. This title is subjective and to varying degrees. I don’t see myself as one, but others might. What it comes down to is that we’re all products of our surroundings and if we’re a certain way, we’re like that for a reason. Do I agree with the more extreme cases of this? No, I think its a little silly. But probably because I can’t relate. I can’t hate on someone just because we’re different. Laugh, maybe. But not hate. I’m not like you, RJ.

13. Cricket.The national sport of Sri Lanka. I’d love to find someone willing to teach me how to play. I sometimes see groups of Indian people playing at the park and they seem to be having a blast. And the people I see playing on TV have cool outfits.

14. Shakespear.Respect it, but I’m not a huge fan. In fact, I took an English class based on Shakespear and ended up dropping it after two weeks. It’s not that I don’t understand it. But its like reading in a second language and takes a little bit more time to comprehend.

15. The Holy Roman Empire. Can empirialism really ever be considered ”holy”?

16. Bengal Tigers. This makes me think about an old word puzzle about the names of NFL teams. The question/clue was “Used to be girls”. Answer: Ben-Gals… get it? I always wondered why lions were considered the king of the jungle when I’m pretty sure a tiger could whoop a lion’s ass.

17. Pyramids: man made or left by aliens?Man. I believe that we are not alone and there are other forms of intelligent life in the universe but if they were here and decided to leave behind buildings, where are they now? Why take off without destroying the evidence or coming back to get it?

18. Blondes vs. Redheads. Hot redheads exist but you never have to qualify a woman’s looks with “pretty hot for a blonde” like you would sometimes have to for a redhead. Plus redheads come with freckles. So blondies, yes please. Mmm. Makes me think about Applebees.

19. George Clooney. Handsome muthafucker.

20. Foreign accents.It’s like saying “big boobs”. It depends on who its on. It can be a bonus at most but it won’t make or break someone. If an old, ugly, fat chick had big boobs, would you want to motorboat her? If a hot British chick didn’t have a nice accent, would you want to bone her any less? Exactly. Sometimes a chick can be hot and her boobs are too big. Sometimes an accent can be ugly, or too thick… It all depends.

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I feel bad for this chick because she’s going to die alone surrounded by hundreds of cats.

zaydian:

Meoww.

I find this hard to masterbate too =/

-anonymous

I’ve asked ten people for ten random subjects that they would like my opinion on. Here’s installment #1, courtesy of Carlo Casuga.

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1. Hockey>NFL>MLB>NBA. Strongly disagree.Based on the percentage of the season I pay attention to each sport, the order is as follows: NFL: Entire regular and post season, NBA: Most of regular season and all of playoffs, MLB: August-October but only until the Giants are mathematically eliminated OR Yankees v. Red Sox in the post season. NHL: Only when the Sharks are past the first round of the playoffs and there’s nothing better on.

2. Iconia. It’s like a iPad / Laptop hybrid. Looks cool but I don’t think it will catch on. You don’t need two touch screens, especially if it seems like one is going to be used for mostly menus and a keyboard. Plus, nothing can replace the efficiency of a real keyboard.

3. Future Tech (after Kinect). I don’t think that holographic imaging is in the near future. I think that idea might explored a little bit but will soon die. A lot like 3-D movies in the 70’s and 80’s. However, a few decades down the line it will be something that is revisited with better technology. A lot like 3-D movies now. Will it last? Who knows. I don’t have any intention of buying a 3-D television set.

4. Remifications of human cloning. Have you seen the movie Multiplicity?

5. MMORPGs.I’ve never got into it, but they look to be very addictive. If I was more of a gamer and didn’t like real life interaction as much as I do, I might get hooked to something like this. I’ve seen it eat up a lot of my friends’ social lives, so I’m not really interested. But then again I said the same thing about ecstasy until I tried it.

6. NES Comeback. The nostalgic value of video games is cool but I don’t think that technology from 25 years ago can “come back”.

7. Home school. No. No. No. No. I understand the reason people do this, but I don’t think its fair to the children. Home schooling deprives them of valuable social interaction with their would-be peers as well as a chance to develop their own personalities and opinions. You’ve got to be a real control freak of a parent to do this to your child, and that’s bullshit.

8. Pong. If we’re talking about table tennis, I’d play for hours if I could. Light-weight sandpaper paddles favor my style of play. If we’re talking about the ping pong show in Thailand, I’m down with that too. The classic video game was a tad before my time, so I’m leaning towards ‘no’ for that.

9. Obama. It’s been a couple years and I’m really surprised that no one’s tried to kill him yet. Not that he deserves it. I think he’s doing great considering what he was left with. I don’t like conservative thinking so I’ll be pressing ‘re-elect’ button when it comes time.

10. Mexicans. I used to call them “the kind that can” because they CAN do stuff (i.e gardening, handy work, sell fruit on the side of the road, make awesome tacos). They reproduce fast. If you want to know what makes them tic, ask Jose. I’m sure he will provide you with a list. I’m almost certain beans and rice are on there, but I can’t verify that. I’m not being racist. I’m just saying.

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I could have sworn that I saw one of these landing at Moffet Field the other day. It was in metallic blue rather than gray but in absolute horrible shape. It was making a weird clanking sound on the approach. One of the wings was practically going to fall off as it approached the runway a low speeds. I tried to pull out my phone to take a picture but it was out of view by the time I clicked. Fighting rebels in space? I don’t know. But I know what I saw.

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As you may or may not know, I’ve recently had foot surgery that will have me on crutches for about 3 weeks. Apparently, the doctor’s office doesn’t tell you everything you’ll need to know to maintain normalcy after surgery. Here’s a short list of things I’ve had to learn for myself:

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1. Scratching.Chopsticks are not always long enough to get the job done. I’ve had to cut a skinny stick down to about 2 feet in order to get into the deeper parts of the cast. This will vary on everyone, so you’ve got to learn what angles to take to reach the desired places. A lot of the time, calf-end is the way to go, however, you’ll find that anything on the top or heel of your foot is easier to access from the toe-side.

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2. Advanced level crutching.You’ll learn exact places where you need to stand that will allow you to use the bottom of your crutch to turn off the light switch. Also, leading feet first on a step is a lot safer than going crutch first. Although you can’t cover as much distance, you’ll find that sideways crutching down some hallways can be kinder on your elbows and items around you that may fall as you pass by. Every task becomes a journey. Most of the time, you’ll need 2 crutches to make the journey, but in some situations you’ll discover that packing light will be a better choice. Example: Pouring a drink. It’s not easy to hold a carton of milk with a crutch on each fist.

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3. Pissing while standing.You might think that sitting is easier, you’re wrong. Getting up and down without putting weight on your foot is very difficult without throwing your entire body weight onto the fragile porcelain. Thankfully, I had been doing a lot of single-leg calf raises prior to my surgery. This has allowed me to balance on my left and pissing with little to no splashing. It’s not perfect, so I’d still take a quick once over on the rim with a piece of TP, especially if your postoperative experience requires you to do #4.

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4. Two-finger diet.This is to deal with the nausea resulting from anesthesia. I’ve done this before under different circumstances, but I’ve never been a pro at it until now. Things to remember: Wash your hands and gargle with water before you start. If you use the toilet, wipe it clean ahead of time. When you feel something coming up, breathe out so it exits your mouth and not into your nasal passage or back down your esophagus. Timing is everything. If you do it too early, you’ll get a lot of dry-heaves. Wait until you’re at the point when you’re drooling. It’s like your body’s way of lubricating itself before you vomit. The more you do it, the harder it will be to get yourself to gag. You’ll have to figure out where your go-to spots are in the back of your throat. I’d try not to go too deep because who knows what kind of damage you can do back there if you didn’t cut your nails short enough. You’re better off sticking with the shallow areas in the upper part of your throat. A little side-to-side motion usually does the trick. I’m still having to do this because my digestive system isn’t back to normal yet. HELLO BULIMIA!!

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I’m sad so I think I need to write. But what about if it will only get deleted? I don’t know how long ago it happened, but when I searched through my home computer to look for some of my old music, it was gone. I don’t know when, or how, or why. All I know is that its not there. Now what? Ask everybody I know that I’ve ever shared any of it with if they still have a copy. Its going to be tough. We’re talking about 150-200 songs dating back from 1995 (when Clinton was in office). They were recorded on casette tape prior to 2001, so I may be able to find the rough copies of the old stuff but it would take me days or even weeks to get them back into digital format since I no longer have the equipment I used to do it with. And all my Audition sessions, original recordings and master copies of the “good stuff”… gone. Those will never come back. I feel so fucking sick to my stomach right now. I want to scream, cry, vommit… this is really all bad. Imagine, 15 years worth of the only thing you were REALLY good at vanishing into thin air as if it had never exsisted in the first place. An audio account of how you’ve changed and matured over the years… nothing. As sappy as this sounds, I lost a part of myself. A part, that will most likely never be replaced. This is obviously a sign for something. I’ve just got to figure it out, I guess. Should this mark an end, or is it a sign that I need to make more? My best work came from when I was most heartbroken. And I’m heartbroken.

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