I’m sad so I think I need to write. But what about if it will only get deleted? I don’t know how long ago it happened, but when I searched through my home computer to look for some of my old music, it was gone. I don’t know when, or how, or why. All I know is that its not there. Now what? Ask everybody I know that I’ve ever shared any of it with if they still have a copy. Its going to be tough. We’re talking about 150-200 songs dating back from 1995 (when Clinton was in office). They were recorded on casette tape prior to 2001, so I may be able to find the rough copies of the old stuff but it would take me days or even weeks to get them back into digital format since I no longer have the equipment I used to do it with. And all my Audition sessions, original recordings and master copies of the “good stuff”… gone. Those will never come back. I feel so fucking sick to my stomach right now. I want to scream, cry, vommit… this is really all bad. Imagine, 15 years worth of the only thing you were REALLY good at vanishing into thin air as if it had never exsisted in the first place. An audio account of how you’ve changed and matured over the years… nothing. As sappy as this sounds, I lost a part of myself. A part, that will most likely never be replaced. This is obviously a sign for something. I’ve just got to figure it out, I guess. Should this mark an end, or is it a sign that I need to make more? My best work came from when I was most heartbroken. And I’m heartbroken.
…
